Life

I didn't punch any Dr's in the face...

2010-08-07T23:08:00.003-04:00

So that is a plus. I had my appointment in Indy yesterday. I was very sad all day and on the lonely ride up there. Once I got in the ultrasound room I just kind of shut down. I didn't care to much about what was on the screen, same old same old.

The fluid did go up, though no one knows why. (Shock?) So he is making urine. We will find out when he is born if it is "quality" urine and actually filtering or if it is just basically water.

Then the MFM for the day (who just happened to be the director of the department) came in to chat with me. He said they had not yet received the recommendation from the urologist, but he called about it during our meeting and expected in a few days. He is then going to send me a copy and follow what it says to the letter. Since the urologist said delivery at 36 weeks that is what I am thinking we will do at this point...hoping to get a call on Monday to set up a new c-section date.

All in all not much has changed, but my attitude is a lot better. I think I will make it another week and a half!

And I am paying these people for...what?

2010-08-05T00:26:00.002-04:00

Well the final results are in. Drum roll please...Not a single doctor has a clue what is going on with my baby/fluid.

The "specialists" aka the maternal fetal medicine OB's at St. Vincent think it must be that the kidneys have failed because...well they can't find anything else wrong. The placenta looks normal, it doesn't seem I have ruptured my membranes, and the baby looks happy. So since he already has a kidney issue, this must be the problem.

The urologists and nephrologist say that the kidneys actually don't look that bad. There is no reason they should be working less today than 5 weeks ago. So they don't know what is wrong, but the nephrologist says that the kidney fate (whatever it may be) is sealed at this point and there is no reason to take him out earlier.

When will we deliver? Don't know. Cincinnati originally said 37 weeks. The Ob's want him as big as possible so 38 weeks (due to previous c-sections) and the urologist said 36 weeks. Today I am 34 weeks and this feels pretty good. Tomorrow would be nice...

Personal side note: I am very unhappy with these findings. I hate everyone I know right now for one reason or another. And if at my appt on Friday they try to tell me 38 weeks I am going to scream in their face and punch them.

And then there is Monday

2010-08-03T08:30:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was expecting to have an ultrasound, see the doctors and probably hang out a bit more on the high risk unit. However, one of the MFM docs came in and said there was no reason for the ultrasound. There wasn't going to be any fluid and we didn't need to look and see that. Then he said the decision is mine on how to proceed. They could keep me in the hospital on bed rest and hooked up to the monitors 24/7 for 4 weeks, but he couldn't promise that even if the cord prolapsed that they could catch it. So that would be more or less pointless. Or I could go home...I am home now :)

Before leaving Indy I did insist on seeing the pediatric urologist and so glad I did. He completely agreed that the only way to save kidney function is to deliver now. Today or tomorrow he is going to look at my ultrasounds and talk with the MFM's. As long as Ian's kidneys are dilated (which they were in the last ultrasound) and the MFM's don't think it will put him at risk to take him early then we should have him here by the end of the week. James and I are very happy about this. We have been trying for days to convince everyone to save his kidneys, but no one was listening. Now we have someone on our side :)

Today I am suppose to go for an NST at my local OB's office. My mother in law is going to watch the kids and hopefully paint some. We are still working to finish the older 2 kids bedroom. It has another good week to go...

High Risk Unit is no fun!

2010-08-01T18:27:00.002-04:00

Lets start with Thursday...My friend Lisha and I headed towards Indy for an ultrasound and to see what the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors had to say about my low fluid. During the ultrasound we find out that the fluid has dropped to 5.3, one of his kidney's has gone cystic, but his bladder is not bigger. Meaning that either my water broke or his kidney's have stopped functioning. I was hooked up to an NST and Ian scored 10 for 10 on his biophysical profile. So I am sent home and told to see my regular OB for an ultrasound on Friday.

Friday...My OB's office calls and said the MFM docs called and they now want me to head to Indy immediately. I call James, he comes home with my mother in law so she can watch the kids and we can go. I get a second call from my OB's office saying, Oh by the way, pack a bag. Most likely they are going to want to keep you. So I frantically pack a few things and off we go. When we get to St. Vincent I received another ultrasound where the fluid was 3.3. They tell me that I will be staying the weekend on the high risk unit for monitoring. When I get upstairs to the unit I am checked to see if my water broke, but it did not. So I am hooked up to the monitor and we wait.

Saturday...Lots of sitting around. I go on the monitor at 6am, 2pm, and 10pm. Other than that I just watch tv or go for walks around the hospital. I did get to talk to the MFM doc for the weekend, he said that he feels better and better about keeping Ian in rather than delivering him early. No need to add preemie issues on top of the issues he already has. Then later I spoke with a neonatalogist who agreed and said he is trying to get ahold of the pediatric urologist (same guy that did Dill's scope) to see if he thinks it will help the kidneys to get Ian out sooner rather than later.

Sunday...James stayed the night at the hospital with me, but he is gone now and I miss my children. We quickly spoke with the MFM doc who still told me to stick around and be monitored, I will receive another ultrasound Monday, we will hear from the pedi urologist and then discuss what to do from there. Also during Ian's last monitoring session he had 1 variable. Where his heart rate dropped, the nurse said they see this a lot when the amniotic fluid is gone because the baby will step on their cord for a bit. However they don't get concerned about just 1, so we will see how he does tonight.

My thoughts...James and I are very concerned. (Did that need to be said?) It seems like the doctors are trying to get him as big as possible so he can be put on dialysis when he comes out. We are wondering if it wouldn't be better to get him out earlier and see if we can keep some kidney function in the one kidney so he doesn't need dialysis. We are frustrated with the doctors decision. My local OB said he would deliver if the fluid got to 2 or 3, he also said he would think getting Ian out earlier would be better for his kidneys. If all the fluid is gone tomorrow and these doctors refuse to do anything I will be calling my doctor to see if they have other thoughts. James is going to call around to a couple different hospitals and see if he can get any kind of second opinion. I want Ian to come out as healthy as possible and will do anything I need to.

Late July update...

2010-07-27T23:38:00.003-04:00

Always have to add a picture. And this just happens to be my most recent one. I have GOT to cut that boys hair, with the flower and necklace he is not looking to manly. We are thinking about going a lot shorter, but it is so soft and beautiful it will be hard to get rid of...makes me teary just thinking about it.

Now on to updates. As for Dillion, he had the general anesthesia with scope and then a VCUG. Turns out he has a couple little things going on, but nothing that is causing problems or bleeding. So really we know nothing. Except it is really hard to watch nurses in scrubs take away my baby and put him to sleep even if they are blowing bubbles and pulling him in a play car. However he did really well with everything, was up and eating a ton before we even left the hospital and has hit a huge mental growth spurt. Learning so much so quickly!

Then there is Ian. Everything was going great...3 weeks ago the fluid was around 15cm. Then the next week it dropped to 8.6, last Friday it was 7.1 (aka low.) There are two possible causes...1. he is growing and so is the obstruction so the urine is not getting out like it was before or 2. his kidney's are failing. Obviously we are hoping for option 1. I go back to Indy on Thursday and we should know more after that appt and ultrasound. My OB said if his fluid gets to 2-3 cm they will deliver him. So we may be meeting this little guy sooner than we had thought (or hoped.) Keep him in your thoughts.

And finally a general family update. We have been working on the kids new room forever. All 4 of us have been sleeping in the master bedroom since I can remember at this point or so it seems. But we are getting very close to finishing. The new ceiling is in, the walls are spackled, everything is being primed on Thursday while I am at the doctors. Then hope to paint this weekend...well maybe we have a photo shoot Saturday so it might wait till Monday. At this point we are trying to get everything done as quickly as possible in case Ian decides to show up. Here is to hoping I am not one of 5 in my bedroom!

Dillinger is 18 months!

2010-07-14T14:31:00.002-04:00

The picture and title pretty much say it all. My baby is toddler, albeit a very cuddly toddler, but still he is no longer a baby. Next time I look up he will be starting school just like my other baby did. Guess I am doing something correct, this is the point of mommyhood right? To help them grow up...

All 3 of my children

2010-07-04T20:12:00.004-04:00

Well if you have just joined my blog recently you may not realize that I have a daughter who came before my rotten boys. She is sweet, perfect, and beautiful. (pictured above) :)

Now on to the boys...Friday morning we set out at 9:30 for a very long day. First my doctors office for the second of the steroid shots for Baby Ian's lungs. 10:30 - Dr. Rink the urologist to talk about both the boys. He decided Dillion needs to be checked out more throughly and will be doing so next Friday. The Dr will be scoping him while under general anesthesia to see if he can locate a problem. Possibly doing a VCUG if they find something. Scary to think my 18mo little boy will be put to sleep, but I hope they find something and can make him better.

As for Baby Ian the urologist said after birth they will do a series of test. Multiple blood tests to see how his creatinine level adjusts, VCUG which is dye to see how his kidney's/bladder work, Ultrasound to see how dilated everything looks when he gets out, and a nuclear scan which is dye injected somewhere to test something...Yes I received way to much information that day, but I am sure they will tell me again before they do it.

Then at 1 we went to St. Vincent to tour the NICU and talk with a neonatalogist. His name was Dr Michnov (?) Very nice man, sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He did say that Ian would need to be in the NICU for at least one day so they could monitor how he pees. But really they are expecting him to fair pretty well considering his PUV. After that first day and all the scans they will do the valve ablation surgery and hopefully he will get to come home the same time I do. Of course this is all in a perfect world, but hey why not hope for the best?

All in all we learned tons and feel a lot more at ease with the whole situation for Ian.

Side note - James and I didn't have time to eat lunch during all this hurrying around so after the NICU we decided to eat at Golden Corral around 2:30. Came home, cleaned the house like a madwomen and at 6 came down with a hard case of food poisoning. I was sick and didn't eat for over 28 hours. My OB prescribed some phenergan which helped me sleep and stop puking after 2 doses. Today I should of spent recovering, instead I finished my fodant cake and had a family cookout with MIL.

Happy 4th to all!

Mass Emailed, but wanted to share with blog friends as well

2010-06-23T21:16:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to give a quick happy update on Sebastian James (we officially agreed on the middle name!)

For anyone who needs background information we found out at 19 weeks that he has Posterior Urethral Valves (PUV). After an amnio, bladder tap, and a visit to the Children's hospital of Cincinnati his prognosis went from grim, to wait and see. Now that we have waited 9 long weeks things are looking as good as could be expected. His lungs are maturing, his kidney's are not failing as far as we can see from the fluid levels and the size of his bladder is reasonable for what he has gone through. Today I got the ok to just see my regular OB every week instead of switching between Bloomington and Indy as long as everything continues to look ok. Also we set a date! At 37 weeks on August 25th I will have an amnio to test for lung maturity, if they are ready we will have the C-Section at St. Vincent on Thursday August 26th.

Baby Ian will be evaluated by the pediatric urologist and have a renal ultrasound that day. If he is big enough and stable he will have surgery on his third day of life to correct the obstruction. There are still a lot of what ifs and we don't know what shape his bladder, kidney's or connecting tubes will be in or how they will function until he gets out. But we do know his lungs have had time to develop and he should be born a wet, breathing, screaming mess. What more could we ask for?

Also as far as Dillion goes...we still don't know what it going on. But he also goes to see the pediatric urologist, July 2nd and we hope to find out more then. His rickets Dr's do not think it is a kidney stone or anything to do with that diagnosis and his pediatrician doesn't think it is bladder or kidney related. Hoping it is nothing :)

Positive thoughts go a long way!

2010-05-11T19:52:00.002-04:00

We are back from Cincinnati with news we were not expecting! Let me start at the beginning of the day...

James drove over 3 in the pouring rain and sat in rush hour traffic to get us there. We were a bit late, but were able to get in for the ultrasound first thing. The tech spent over 45 minutes scanning from head to toe and back again. She commented many times on how cute he was with his little hands in front of his face or how he stuck out his tongue. Cracked me up, all I saw was a white outline that I didn't want to get to attached to in case we received bad news. But she was very sweet. Then a doctor came in to review everything and we were sent on our way to the MRI.

The nice little lady in MRI asked if I was told how long I would be in the machine...uh no a few minutes? At least an hour she says! And sure enough I was. It was loud, and uncomfortable, but the images we saw from it later were well worth the marginal discomfort.

Afterwards James and I quickly grabbed some lunch and headed up to the Fetal Care floor of Cincinnati Children's Hospital not knowing what would come next. We met with a genetic counselor who took a family history. When asked if both my parents were living I nearly said yes then broke down and referred the question to James. He took my hand and explained to the lady how fresh the wound was and how she died. Honestly that was the only time I cried all day.

Finally it was time to meet with the team of Doctors. There were 8 people in the room other than James and I. A fetal surgeon, neonatalogist, pediatric urologist, main doctor guy and various nurses. They were all VERY nice and answered any questions we had. Which wasn't many because we have researched for the last 3 weeks, but it was nice to bounce some things off of them.

LOL, are you ready for the results yet? MRI shows the lungs look well developed for Baby Ians gestational age (which is 22 weeks tomorrow.) Amniotic fluid is normal 12.3 (Normal is 8-20) The kidney's still looks large, but show no cysts or bright spots that would indicate failure. As for the protein that we were told indicates kidney failure, it doesn't. The level was high, but it a mute point, no big deal. The only problem we are guaranteed of at this point is the bladder. It could be as simple as an oral medication or sometime more intense like cathing the baby daily. We will just have to wait and see. Until he is born we will go for weekly fluid and kidney checks most likely 1 week at my OB and the next at St. Vincent, but that is up to the maternal fetal medicine Dr.

When Baby Ian is born, we will deliver via c-section around 37 weeks at St. Vincent in Indy. He will have a renal ultrasound the day he is born to check his bladder and kidney. They will monitor how well he pees. And as long as he is a good weight he will have surgery before we leave the hospital to remove the blockage. Best case scenario we are done at that point...he would need to be monitored for life to make sure his kidney's continued to function and be on medicine for his bladder. But it could be as simple as that!

There are still many possible problems that could arise. His kidney's could become damaged in the next 15 weeks and things would be much different. But at this point we are very optimistic. There is a great chance I will get to bring home my Baby Ian the last week of August!

Keep the positive thoughts coming!

Cherish the time you have with them...

2010-05-09T13:54:00.002-04:00

This Mother's Day is my 7th as a mom,
My first without my mom,
and most likely my only as a mom of 3 living children.

We are spending the day planting flowers, eating yummy food with family and just not rushing! It seems all to often there is somewhere to be or to many things to do and we don't take the time to cherish the ones we love. Hug your kids, love your mom, and just take some time today to think about what Mother's Day means to you. How would it be different if you weren't able to call your mom to wish her a happy day? Or weren't able to hug all your children? Do it today, no one is promised tomorrow.

"If roses grow in heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me ~
Place them in my Mother's arms & tell her they're from me ~
Tell her that I love & miss her, & when she turns to smile ~
place a kiss upon her cheek & hold her for a while ~
Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday ~
There's an ache within my heart that will never go away.
Happy Mother's Day in Heaven"

Scheduled for Cincinnati

2010-05-07T11:08:00.002-04:00

Tuesday May 11th James and I will go to the Fetal Care Center in Cincinnati.

8am Ultrasound
9:30 Register for MRI
10:15 MRI
12pm Genetics
12:30 Nurse consultation
1pm Team Meeting with the doctors who will give us all our results and options

By the end of that day we should have a very good idea of how things will go from that point on in the pregnancy. Keep us in your thoughts.

On a great note, today is Mother's Day Tea at Lily's school! Dillion and I are getting ready and will head up there in just a little bit. Lily keeps telling me I am going to love it and cry. I imagine she is right :)

(BTW sorry for that last blog being such a downer...But I couldn't sleep and that is how I felt. Can't promise there won't be more like it.)

Bad news baby

2010-05-06T23:33:00.002-04:00

Today as I was driving Dill to the hospital for his renal ultrasound I saw a van in a parking lot for sale. It said "Wheelchair Accessible" on the window. I happened to be on the phone with my sister and she confirmed that it was my mom's van. Dad is trying to sell it is since mom is dead and doesn't need it anymore. I cried most of today. The thought kept coming to me that if she was still here...with a trach and on dialysis at least I could talk to her. I could tell her about Baby Ian and how his doctor called today and told me they won't be putting shunts in. That they are sending us to the Fetal Care Center where most people choose to terminate at this point.

Mom would rub my head and tell me that life isn't fair. I use to get so angry when she would say that. But the older I get the more I realize how true it is.

Lately Lily has started telling me that it isn't fair when I punish her for something. I respond with "Life isn't fair." Sometimes I try to explain to her that she gets punished more than Dillion because she is older and he doesn't understand. And other times I want to tell her how horrible life is once she gets older. That she should be thankful that she is young, carefree, and doesn't have a disease like either of her brothers. But I don't, one day to soon she will find out for herself all the things that truly aren't fair in life. Why is it fair that with a 50/50 chance Dillion and I got rickets, but my sister and Lily didn't? How is it fair that my mom died at age 53 after a very hard life, while others in her family will life forever and have to deal with an 1/8 of the sadness and pain that she lived through? Why is it fair that my baby will mostly likely die even though I am a good mom, who tries so hard, does good things, feeds good foods, reads books, teaches them things...and my half sister has 3 healthy children all being raised by other people because she failed them all? Why did James have cancer 3 times? Why is life not fair?

New news 5/5

2010-05-05T18:52:00.004-04:00

Today I visited the new pediatrician with Dillion. He is going to be a great fit for our family. Dills liked him, and he normally strongly disliked doctors, nurses, lab technician, people in general.... :)

Then we had a fluid check at St. Vincent. Everything looked about the same, I still somehow have fluid, the bladder was big again meaning the kidney's are still working. However the Doctor had a level back from the bladder tap that he didn't on Monday. It showed elevated proteins, meaning Baby Ian's kidneys are beginning to not work as well. Dr Conners thinks we need the shunts without question to save the kidney's. He is calling Dr Dumbledoor (ok I don't know what his name is exactly...Looking it up now) Dr. Timothy Crombleholme at the Fetal Care Center in Cincinnati, who BTW previously worked at CHOP which is the best place to go for fetal care, but travelling to Philadelphia is a little out of the question right now. Anyway, the hope is that they will set an appointment up for early next week to consult with us about shunts. They REALLY want us to be out of fluid first, but it is just not happening at this time. Which is actually good for the lungs, but bad because they don't want to do the surgery yet which compromises the kidney's. Also I don't remember the word he used, but the kidney's are now showing up with bright spots. Something genic maybe? If anyone knows tell me what the word is and what it means. Driving me nuts. But it was not a good thing.

So tomorrow at 8:30 Dillion goes in for the kidney ultrasound searching for stone's. Hopefully I will hear from Cincinnati and we can get something scheduled. Poor James is worrying so much and asking every doctor he can find if this is getting done fast enough or if there is a way to quicken the process. At this point every moment we waste is a moment that his kidneys are getting worse...Let's go people!

Good News on Baby Ian!!

2010-05-03T10:48:00.005-04:00

Good News, Can you believe it? I was floored when the Doctor called me this morning! He said Baby Ian's kidney functions came back good (they are very stingy with numbers up there, so I get word estimates.) At this point the Dr seems very optimistic. He said there will be life long health problems, but he expects a good outcome as long as we can get the shunts put in soon. So ultrasound with AFI (Amniotic fluid index) check on Wednesday and hopefully I will have a tentative date to go to Ohio.

Tomorrow I am meeting with a new pediatrician my nurse cousin recommended. She thinks he will be able to keep good tabs on the boys issues. He currently has a child dialysis patient, so if it comes to that, then I feel like this pedi is who we want to be with.

Here are the pictures from the ultrasound last Wednesday...He looks just like Dillinger!

LoL, St. Vincent also doesn't like to give me full body shots, so here is my representation of how Baby Ian's bladder looked before they drained it last week. A normal sized bladder should be 1/4 of that size.

Keep hoping and praying for more positive results this week :)

Boys updates

2010-05-01T15:38:00.002-04:00

Unfortunatly nothing to report on Baby Tres except, you can now call him Baby Ian :) We are naming him Sebastian Blake and will call him Ian.

I was hoping to get his kidney function results on Friday but no. I will call on Monday and beg for them. My MIL will be coming with us on Wednesday for the fluid check. She says she is going to yell at the Dr's until they do something immediatly. She also called a friend with connections and we are going to get a second opinion at Methodist hospital next week.

As for Dillion we went to his Pediatricain yesterday morning. He says he doesn't think Dill really had a UTI, because the culture they grew came back with bacteria that is found on skin rather than in the bladder. So he think it was a kidney stone. Next Thursday Dillion goes for a renal ultrasound. If that shows stones then I will need to talk to his ricket doctors about changing his medicine dose because they cause kidney stones in high doses.

Dillinger...

2010-04-29T23:05:00.002-04:00

This is my last story for today and I think everyone will be fully updated.

Last Thursday night (April 22) after returning from our disappointing ultrasounds I was changing Dills diaper and found blood coming out of his penis. OMFG was all I could think. I told Lily to grab my phone I was hoping it wasn't to late for our pediatricians after hours clinic, but it was. So off to the ER we went. We were there all night, the Dr wanted to do a catheter. However I know from his rickets experience that they have bags to put on little boys that aren't invasive. So I told them to get one and I would put on myself. That is what we did.

After a few hours he finally peed, they looked at the urine and sure enough he has a UTI. Which I did not know at the time is very uncommon for little boys. (I remember getting UTI's when I would have to many bubble baths, so I figured it was the same for boys...not the case.) The Dr prescribed an antibiotic and told me to follow up with his pediatrician to have some testing started. Tomorrow we go to the pedi to make sure the infection is gone, then he will write the orders for a dye/xray thing. The thought is that he has urinary reflux. (Baby has PUV, Dillion would have VUR, getting all this straight? ugh) It is possible for Dillion to have the same thing as Baby Tres, but to a lesser degree. Hopefully we will find out soon. I am tired...

Baby Tres...

2010-04-29T12:54:00.004-04:00

In January James and I found out that I am pregnant with the one we lovingly call "Baby Tres" being as he is our third child. We planned on him/her having that name until birth since we were not going to find out sex. However at my 19 week anatomy scan my OB found a problem. She said the babies bladder is very distended (large) and honestly she doesn't know what that means. So we were sent to Indianapolis St.Vincent hospital that very same day for another ultrasound. (Mind you everyone who read my last post...my mother died on Tuesday April 20, the ultrasound day is Thursday April 22.)

In Indy they agree that the bladder is very large, about the size of Baby Tres' head. They tell me at that point that he is a he because the problem he has only happens to boys. It is called Posterior Urethral Valve (PUV) Syndrome. A valve that would allow a normal bladder to drain is backwards so all of his urine is backing up to his bladder and kidneys. If it is not stopped his kidneys will burn out and he will need dialysis and eventually a kidney transplant. On top of that after a certain point in pregnancy the amniotic fluid is made up entirely of urine. If the urine is not getting out then there is no amniotic fluid. A baby needs this fluid especially between 20-24weeks to ensure their lungs develop properly.

The Dr wanted to do an amniocentesis that day to check for chromosome abnormalities (that is present in 10% of PUV cases) and also to see what his kidney functions were like. Unfortunately we could not do it that same day because I am on Lovenox (blood thinners) and it would cause a bleeding risk. So we schedule it for the next day. (Insert here a story about Dillion that happens Thursday night...I will get to that in another post.)

Friday we go for the amnio which is actually meant to drain of the babies bladder rather than just a sample of amniotic fluid. It was very painful, much more than the amnio I had with Dillion since they had to hit a specific point on the baby. The Dr did not think she got into the bladder like they were hoping and when the results came back sure enough she was right. They only got amniotic fluid. We were able to test for chromosomes that all came back fine, but could not find out how his kidney's are doing.

The reason for the kidney functions are that there is a fetal surgery that can be done where they put shunts in Baby Tres' bladder to let it drain until birth. This will hopefully save the kidney's and allow enough amniotic fluid for the lungs to properly develop. If the kidney functions are to low then they will not continue to make urine and the shunts are pointless.

Yesterday, Wed April 28th, I went back for a fluid check and another bladder tap. My fluid was lower than last week, but I still have some (20weeks.) Also the procedure was successful, the Dr was able to see Baby Tres' bladder get smaller and knew he had drained it properly. Now we are waiting on the kidney function test. Next Wed I go back for another fluid check. The hope is that the bladder will be full again, meaning that the kidney's are still making urine.

So to recap IF the kidney test comes back with good functions then we will travel to Ohio and have shunts put in Baby Tres' bladder. If they don't then we will not be candidates for the shunts. At that point there may be the option to do weekly amnio infusions, where fake amniotic fluid is put in to help the babies lungs continue to develop. The Dr told me if nothing is done his kidney's WILL fail and I WILL run out of fluid before 24 weeks and his lungs won't develop. With the drastic fluid change in last week and this week I will most likely be out by the next check.

No matter what happens Baby Tres will never be completely healthy. At this point his bladder and ureters have been stretched so much for so long that he will have lifelong issues. But we are trying to limit those issues as much as possible. Please keep us in your thoughts.

What's new?

2010-04-29T07:15:00.005-04:00

I know I haven't updated my blog in forever, but a new friend of mine said it would a nice outlet. So here goes.

About a month ago my mom went into the hospital with a UTI that had gone to her blood along with a blood clot. 2 weeks later they thought she was getting better and were about to send her home when she started having breathing problems. On Sunday April 11 she was moved to the ICU and put on a ventilator by the end of the day. That was the last time she ever spoke to me. First she told me that Baby Tres is a boy and then that she never wanted to be on a vent. However once she couldn't breath she gave in. The next week me, my sister and dad stayed at the hospital most of the time. There were ups and downs. During that week her kidney's failed and she had to be put on dialysis. Also her heart rate dropped a couple times and dad had to make the decision to resuscitate if it totally stopped. That weekend I couldn't take it anymore and went home to be with my family.

Monday things were not looking any better, her chest was still full of fluid (which was what was causing her breathing problems) and she showed no sign of being able to come off the ventilator. The Dr's talked to my dad about putting her on a trach indefinitely. I tried to convince him that is not what she would want. On Tuesday he made the hardest decision of his life...to take her off all the machines and let my mom go. And that is what they did. That night we called all her friends and family. Everyone said their last goodbyes. She was taken off of the dialysis, given a morphine drip and then the ventilator was removed. Mom breathed on her own for quite a while as a few of us sat at her side. I could tell when it was coming to the end because her breathes stopped coming as often. I told her to sleep well and within a few minutes she was gone. I stayed by her side and held her hand for a long while until my dad finally took it away. That was the last time I ever touched my mother. That was April 20th. We buried her April 25th...that was the last time I ever saw my mother. Lily spoke at her funeral, I am very proud of her.

By the way Baby Tres is a boy. But more on that later.

Capturing the love of 5 Generations

2010-03-08T12:51:00.001-05:00

New Baby, New Business Cards

2010-03-04T13:08:00.005-05:00

That's my new baby! Hanging out in utero for the next 6 months.
We will not be finding out the sex of the baby until it's birthday,
so that should be exciting :)
Currently we are calling him/her Baby Tres.

Next are new business cards!

James and I are heading full force into the photography business.

This weekend we have a 5 generation shoot.

Later in the month we are doing a gymnastics competition, then 2 family shoots all in 1 weekend.

Should be fun :)
My main focus is on "New Life" so these are solely my business cards.
Life is exciting!!

(Sensitive information removed to keep away the weirdos)

16x20 Canvas

2010-02-25T11:18:00.003-05:00

I am in love! There is just nothing like a beautiful canvas with a picture I took of my babies 1 year Smash Cake picture on it.

Feb 13th - First Newborn Session

2010-02-14T16:38:00.004-05:00

February 12 - Frosty Cold

2010-02-12T12:29:00.002-05:00

It's cold outside! I did however brave the elements today for these pics...

Feb 11th - Valentines Cupcakes

2010-02-12T10:09:00.003-05:00

Today Lily is having a Valentines party at school.

I was up till 11:30 (yes that is late for me) making cupcakes.

Our St. Louis Trip - Day 32, 33, 34, & 35

2010-02-05T23:27:00.007-05:00

Where to start? I guess by saying we have answers and all-in-all the hospital stay wasn't to bad. Dillion and I got to spend lots of quality time together. I saw my old nurses and made some new friends. Not to bad at all.

The diagnoses was pretty much what I was expecting. Dillion does have X-linked (aka hereditary) hypophostaphtemic rickets. I have a 50/50 chance of passing it on to any of my children, guess he got the short end of that stick. I am glad to know that I didn't cause this by nursing him. The Shriner's doctors said my milk should be the same as anyone else's. On the downside he will have to deal with this the rest of his life. Dillion is on 2 different medicines until he stops growing around age 16. We will go back to St. Louis every year and stay for a week. Then every 3 months we will send out samples of Dillion's bodily fluids to measure how his body is processing the medicines. The bright side is they no longer put braces on the children's legs like I had. Also they are working on a shot that temporarily cures the rickets and causes their bodies to correctly process vitamin D. It has worked in lab mice and is now being tested on humans. They said soon I may be asked to try it myself and then on Dillion. We will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Here are a couple memorable things that haven't changed since I was a kid. They still put the patients on special research diets to measure every bit that goes in their mouths. You can see him holding his diet ticket above. And below is baby jail. The crib he slept in is the same one I slept in 25 years ago! And once it is closed up there is no getting out! The rails meet up with plastic and he is nice and safe...

He loved the wagon rides! We couldn't walk down the hall without someone stopping us to talk to the cute baby.

Finally our new friends. This is one amazing mom and child combo. The little girl was born at 24 weeks and 1lb even. Yet she is here today and has a fierce little spirit! Her mom is just like me, she has rickets and Hyperparathyroidism. Now that is rare. I believe she said 5-10 people on Earth. It was so good to meet her. Made me feel almost normal.

Thank you to everyone who sent cards, texts and thoughts this week. We appreciate you all!

Day 28 & 29

2010-02-05T22:56:00.003-05:00

Day 29 - Lily

Day 28 - Reading Charlotte's Web as a family.

Day 23 - Maternity Shoot

2010-01-25T12:52:00.002-05:00

A literal Documentation on Life. This precious baby will pop out any day!

Day 24 - Project 365

2010-01-24T21:24:00.003-05:00

Our friends Lindsay and Derrick came for dinner Saturday

night and brought these beautiful flowers.

Day 19 & 20 - Project 365

2010-01-20T12:04:00.003-05:00

Dinner - Day 19

Can't decide if I like the color or B&W better...you? - Day 20

Day 13 and 14 - Project 365

2010-01-19T09:31:00.003-05:00

Bright Idea

Everyone needs at least one red wall in their house.

Here is mine.

Dill's Lunch - Day 17 - Project 365

2010-01-18T14:22:00.002-05:00

Dillion's lunch yesterday. It was so colorful.

Day 18 - Project 365

2010-01-18T09:57:00.002-05:00

I already took my pic for today but it is a surprise. I will try to take another of some friends coming over later and share that one :)

Hello? - Day 15 - Project 365

2010-01-15T17:44:00.001-05:00

St. Louis here we come!

2010-01-15T08:35:00.002-05:00

Sorry I have not been updating my 365 Project these last couple days. Our family is adjusting to lots of new news. But I am taking the pictures each day and will post soon!

As for St. Louis...last month right after his first birthday Dillion was diagnosed failure to thrive. He was under the 5th% for height and weight. Regular blood work was run to see if he was malnourished, however all of his electrolytes came back fine. I asked for additional blood work to check for rickets as my mother and I both have it. Many of his levels came back low. After which x-rays were ordered that showed he does have sign of rickets in his bones.

What is rickets? Many people know it as a "old" disease when children did not get enough calcium and their bones (mainly the legs) began to bow in. However the kind my mother and I have is hereditary. It is passed along the X chromosome. Meaning any of my sons have a 50/50 chance of getting this disease. It is sometimes called Vitamin D resistant rickets because our bodies do not process vit D correctly and instead just expel it. Vitamin D is essential in the absorption of calcium which we all know is what makes our bones grow big and strong. As a result people with rickets do not reach their full height potential. All of my family is 5'10'' and up. My mother is 4'11'' and due to advances in medicine I was able to grow to a whopping 5'3''!

What does this mean for Baby Dills? Currently we are unsure. His pediatrician believes Dillion's rickets is the old school kind and that my milk was insufficient. This would mean he needs to be on high doses of calcium and vitamin D until his body responds and repairs itself. No long term harm. I have been in contact with my former hospital, Shriners in St. Louis. They have told me that with the rarity of rickets it would be highly unlikely for my sons case not to be hereditary. Though we are still holding out hope. If it is the kind my mother and I have it will be a life long issue. He will take medicine throughout his childhood. Most likely have braces on his legs and in many cases (mine and my mothers) he will need surgeries on his legs to help them grow straight.

We are going to St. Louis the first week of February for a week long evaluation at Shriners. They will put him on a special diet to measure his calcium/vit D intake, draw blood and collect urine to see how his body is processing it. After which we will know what kind of rickets he has and how to treat it.

The reason I wrote all this was A. to get it off my chest. I can only talk to my husband so much before he both cry :( but mainly B. to say thank you to some amazing people. I have been in contact with the Bloomington Stonebelt Shrine Club. They are a group of masons who sponsor children to go to Shriners hospital. Although the hospital itself is totally free the expenses of going there are not. We will be driving about 250 miles, James will be staying at a hotel for 4 nights, and we will have to eat approx 15 meals a piece at the hospital. This really adds up and the Shrine club is willing to pay all of those expenses (within reason of course. We won't be putting James up at the Hilton!) So thank you to Dave and the Stonebelt Shrine Club.

Please keep us in your thoughts as we embark on this journey.

Healthy, Happy, Living Day 12 - Project 365

2010-01-12T19:41:00.001-05:00

I think I can! Day 11 - Project 365

2010-01-11T22:46:00.001-05:00

Dream & Believe - Day 10 - Project 365

2010-01-10T14:29:00.002-05:00

New toys! Day 9 - Project 365

2010-01-09T20:31:00.006-05:00

Our friend from the windy city sent new toys for the babe.

He loves them!

So does his sister...

Oh and then he got in trouble...

Photo Prop Hat - Day 8 - Project 365

2010-01-08T15:36:00.002-05:00

Looks good on a chair

...Or your favorite Child

Day 7 - Project 365

2010-01-07T21:30:00.002-05:00

The young boy listens intently as his sister explains the rules of the farm.

Hats - Day 5

2010-01-06T21:56:00.002-05:00

Mommy and newborn matching hats

Day 5 - Project 365

2010-01-05T19:48:00.003-05:00

The Child Climeth the Stairs

(All the time!)

365 Days of Photography

2010-01-04T22:21:00.003-05:00

I am a few days late joining up, but this seems like such a fun idea I couldn't resist! For the next year I will be taking and posting 1 picture a day...

Yea I know that is 4 pics, but my kids are just to cute! At least mommy and daddy think so :)

New Cloth Diaper!

2009-12-28T22:11:00.007-05:00

Finally I am part of the Ooga Booga craze. Dill received his first Camo Ooga Booga diaper from

K and K's Chubby Cheeks

Custom slots coming to IndieSunshine in January because Yes, they are that amazing!

First off Victoria was lovely to work with when ordering my custom diaper. It arrived to me cutely packaged and she even sent along diaper pins. Which was great as these are my first "real" cloth diaper. I admit I was a little leary to step away from snaps, velcro and stuffing pockets, but I am loving it! The pins make me feel old school cool and the lining she uses is the softest material I have ever touched!

From absorbancy to the cuteness factor K and K's Chubby Cheeks gets an A++ in my book!

Christmas was amazing!

2009-12-26T21:05:00.004-05:00

We all had a great Christmas. Hope your family did as well!

Smash Cake!

2009-12-15T14:36:00.001-05:00

Dillion is 1!

2009-12-15T11:28:00.004-05:00

Blogging on a Satruday Night

2009-11-14T20:49:00.003-05:00

No words really. I am home with the kids sleeping and James at a friends. It is perfectly peaceful here after an exciting week. Here are a few pictures of our fun. Hope you had good time with your family as well.

My favorite part was seeing so many people enjoy things I have made. I love it!

What was your favorite family moment this week?

2009-11-04T21:09:00.004-05:00

Who's late with the Halloween pics? Me Me!! But here you go. We were a barrel of monkey's!

Happy Fall Day

2009-10-27T21:22:00.002-04:00

Daddy

Lily hand

Baby Dills in our Girasol wrap

Mommy and Dillinger

3 things

2009-10-16T13:57:00.002-04:00

1. My kids are cute...I mean I think so. If you think so follow this link to Gaps search for new models and vote for them! Lily is on there too, just search my name mellisa4444

2. I can't wait for Novia to announce the fluff winners, I want to be one of them!

3. My sewing machine has issues, my Mother in law use to make James' halloween costumes with it in the 80's so it's old...I have been wanting a new one like crazy! Well today I found it has a feature I never knew about! Here is the exact voicemail message I sent my husband when I found it.

"Hi Honey! Just wanted to tell you that my sewing machine has a built in safety feature. It seems whenever the needles comes in contact with Human Flesh it totally breaks in half to prevent further injury. By the way, give me a call back if you know where the big band-aids are. I looked in the first aid kit and can't find them... Love you!"

Lily's 5 Year Pictures

2009-10-13T11:57:00.005-04:00

I want Guerilla Fluff!

2009-10-05T13:52:00.007-04:00

So I just got into Cloth Diapering. Here is Baby Dills in his first Thirstie diaper.

Cute cute...but the whole reason I was inspired to start cloth diapering was Miss Novia over at Guerilla Fluff. I was in love with her diapers the first time I laid eyes on them! So punk and yet so baby. Anyone in need of the cutest cloth diapers on the planet should head over to www.guerillafluff.com and check them out! Tell her I sent you and maybe she will help with my addiction!

2009-09-30T11:02:00.002-04:00

Sit Down Baby!

Why is it no matter how many baby pills I give him he continues to get bigger and do more things? In the last couple weeks Dill has learned to pull up and cruise along furniture. It seems like such a natural progression. I guess since we already saw Lily go through it inevitably Dillion would also. But I can't help but wish he would stay my sweet, cuddly baby just a little while longer...

2009-09-21T13:51:00.003-04:00

Subject: Lily Laster

Location: Our Backyard, Indiana

Props: Bouquet picked by Daddy for Mommy

Wearing: Toddler Burn Busters purchased from IndieSunshine.com

Taken by: Amber Lynn Photography

2009-09-14T09:47:00.006-04:00

Photos by Amber Lynn Photography

Just a quick blog to let everyone know I am still here! There is so much going on in real life that my online time has taken a real cut. From now until the end of January our life is just one big celebration :) We just had Lily's 5th Birthday! Next is James and my anniversary on the 17th, then my birthday on October 3rd. Etc etc...

Not to mention big changes on IndieSunshine! I am completely redoing the layout and template. Hope to have that ready to go up by the weekend. So email me (many times if you want a timely response) Or catch me on Facebook. LoL I just figured out that there are msgs on the Xbox and received my first few this weekend. In my free time (ha) I am playing Fallout 3. Good times. Hope everyone is well!

2009-08-26T08:41:00.002-04:00

*Exhale* I'm not perfect, but I am FreeEEEeeEee (My attempt at online singing)

What a week! So many things have happened and changed. Lily has been going to school every week day, all day. I am pretty much lost without her. After she gets on the bus I bumble around the house trying to figure out what comes next...I can't even remember to make myself breakfast until Dillion starts to complain about needing a morning snack.

I try not to be sad because I know this is what children do. Plus she is learning so much! This week she brought home a small book and read it to me. They are learning "I am" right now. The book was "I am dog, I am bear..." Very simple, but when your baby reads it to you it is the most amazing book ever!

Last night was open house at school. Her teacher said she is doing very well. Then the principle asked to see James. So we ran down to the office and they had a present for him (little frog shaped mint chocolates with caramel filling, genius!) From what I understand he was very prompt in doing some work for them last week. That is my husband, prompt :) Today he turned in an application for a promotion. *fingers crossed*

What else? Lily went to a gymnastics party put on by our friend Pamala this weekend. I had to leave, but when we came back she was running, jumping, and climbing on everything in site. Seems like she had a really great time. Thanks Pamala, the turn out was amazing, you did a GREAT job!!

Ok before I write a book lets move onto Dillion. Who btw is crawling! Yesterday I was way to involved in editing sling pictures, finally I realized "why is he being so good?" He was playing barbies! Somehow he managed to get all the way across the playroom into the big kid area. Looks like he will be keeping us on our toes from now on.

Highlights - Best Ecard goes to Farah! COFFEE!! You know I love it :)

Most uplifting text came from my favorite German. You always know just what to say!

Best email? That is a hard one. It is between my uncle Jody who checked out Indie Sunshine and wants to order a sling for his pregnant wife. He said they are proud of us. People in my family don't say that often, so it meant a lot.

I also got an email from a BBC friend who reminded me to focus on my kids and husband. Advice that I had given her last week. But it took on a whole nother meaning when said back to me. So that is what I am doing...Off to enjoy my baby!

The "K" Word

2009-08-20T12:10:00.004-04:00

A friend asked Lily how old she is..."4, but I'm a Kindergartener!" And she is...

Lunch box I made

Getting on the bus (BTW I can't post a lot of the pics because they have daycare kids in them.)

Her teacher, Mrs. Simpson

Signing in with proding from daddy

Saying bye to dad, ready to start school!

Mixed Emotions

2009-08-09T15:16:00.004-04:00

Lily's 5 year physical....so she can start Kindergarten!

Height: 41 inches (25%)
Weight: 37.5 lbs (25%)
Vision: 20/25
Hearing: Perfect

That is the developmental questioniare. Mentally she is at least 5y 10m but she ran out of questions on the page before reaching a single no :) (Brag: She's 4y/o)

Dillion liked the paper...

2009-07-07T21:23:00.003-04:00

Here is Dillion sporting a cute hand crafted onesie. We love it,
Thank you!

In case you missed it...I just launched a new website!

www.indiesunshine.com

It is the new venue for my slings!

There is daily giveaway all this week. After you register click here to get entered for today's drawing!

2009-07-06T09:38:00.006-04:00

Do you like to play games and win prizes? Who doesn't!?

Go to www.apslings.blogspot.com Earning entries is simple and the more you get the better your chance of winning the Grand Prize! Winner will be announced Sunday July 12th.

Also enter the daily giveaway at www.Indiesunshine.com

2009-06-15T11:00:00.005-04:00

The Baby Dills turned 6 months old yesterday! Here are a few pics from his big photoshoot. As you can see he is sitting up for long amounts of time. I have no problem leaving him sitting in the playroom while venture into other parts of the house. He is not big on rolling but has and can do it. We think he is just lazy. What else? He reaches for me and James, can pick up and put a cheerio in his mouth, and is eating homemade organic babyfood once a day at dinner time! What a difference 6 months makes...

Documentation on a Walk

2009-06-04T17:33:00.008-04:00

So for the past 2 weeks I have been putting Dillion in the sling and going on a walk. Sometimes James and Lily come along. I started at 15 minutes and am currently doing 25-30. These pics were taken on my walk Tuesday. For the first time none of these pictures have not been put through Photoshop! *gasp*

1. A weed in the "Nature Preserve" area of our yard.

2. We have a bridge 20 feet from our property that floods once a year. Heed the sign!

3. Dillion being grumpy about 10 minutes into the walk.

4. The river that flows under the bridge.

A day in the life of an underappreciated mother

2009-06-01T08:44:00.004-04:00

7:15am - Wake up. Mind you, this is not the first time I have been awake today. There was 1am, 3am, 6:30am. However I got to sleep an extra hour today, so woohoo!

7:30 - Teeth brushed, clothes on, herd 'em up, get downstairs. Greet Cole for the last day of daycare before summer break.

8:00 - Fix breakfast. Lily and I have decided on raisin bran with banana's today. I of course get my coffee!

8:30 - Actually eating now, in the playroom so I can entertain the 2 babies.

9:00 - Nurse Dillion which gives me 10 minutes of computer time!

9:15 - Dillion is done, back to the real world. Lily is ready to read "Put me in the Zoo."

9:30 - Lily can now read, spell outloud, and write the word Zoo!

9:50 - Load 'em up. Cole in the stroller, Dillion in the sling, Lily on foot and here we go for a 30 minute walk down Bottom road. Lily scours the hillsides for honeysuckles that she can smell but not see. Dillion falls asleep.

10:30 - Return home and everyone is hungry. Cole gets a bottle, Lily a snack.

11:00 - Nurse Dillion again.

11:10 - All the children are settled for a few minutes. Time to unload/reload the dishwasher, put in a load of laundry, wipe down the counters...

11:20 - Diaper time for both boys.

11:30 - Dad calls "Melissa, your mom and I are going to head up your way to visit in a bit." Panic sets in.

11:35 - I run trying to get things downstairs picked up and find clothes for everyone to wear.

12:10 - Make Lily lunch. Vegi soup, cheese, blueberries, and juice. I grab a diet coke.

12:20 - Cole and Dillion are both ready for a nap, rare but very appreciated!

12:30 - I quickly take a shower.

12:40 - Lily brings me the phone. "Mommy, it is Anton." The phone drops into the shower and dies.

12:41 - I get out and start explaining how A. 4y/o's don't play with the phone B. Don't bring a phone near water C. How did she come up with the name Anton?

12:42 - The bedroom phone rings. It's Anton.

12:50 - Check on the sleeping boys.

12:55 - Throw Lily in the shower.

1:00 - Get myself ready. Help Lily wash her hair.

1:10 - Lily is out, lotioned, getting dressed.

1:20 - The boys are waking up. Dillion needs to nurse.

1:30 - Diaper/clothes change for Cole.

1:45 - Throw Dill in the kitchen sink bathtub which he is quickly outgrowing.

1:50 - Get Cole set up in the highchair for lunch.

2:00 - Lily's lunch plate is cleaned up, table washed down, trash needs taken out. I sit it by the front door.

2:05 - Finish feeding Cole. Dillion is enjoying the bath so I let him go a bit longer.

2:15 - Mom and Dad arrive. I wrap a wet baby Dill in a towel and strap him to the changing table.

2:20- Dad and I find ramps and attempt to get the wheelchair in the house.

2:25 - Cole and Lily are occupied in the playroom, Dad and mom still fighting the ramps outside, I am wrestling Dillion into a diaper.

2:45 - It is decided that the ramps are not going to work and we will just visit outside today.

2:55 - Cole's mommy arrives. 1 last diaper, chat about summer, realize I am going to miss that little man! They leave. I am embarressed because the trash is still sitting there.

3:05-4:15 - Visit outside. Lily plays bubbles with Papa while mom and I oogle over Dillion.

4:20 - James comes home!

4:25 - Parents head out. I realize I am starving...no idea why.

4:30 - I nurse Dillion while Lily hangs out with Daddy for a bit.

4:40 - James and I have a disagreement. Which stinks bc I was having such a nice productive day.

4:45 - Realize I forgot to eat lunch.

4:50 - I remember the clothes in the washer and throw them into the dryer.

5:00 - James begins preparing dinner. I clean the playroom with a very uncooperative Lily.

5:40 - James is sitting at the table with dinner ready. I am still cleaning. Lily is finally kicked into gear when she realizes we are not eating until everything is clean.

5:50 - After a very stressful yet wonderful day I ask my darling daughter who I have put tons of effort into..."What was your favorite part of the day?"

5:52 - Lily says "eating this yummy pizza that daddy made!"

5:53 - Slightly sad, but I totally understand since it is yummy pizza and it is what we are currently doing. But I ask again "what was your second favorite part of today?"

5:55 - Lily says "blowing bubbles with Papa!"

5:56 - Even more sad, but these are very special events. Let's try one more time. "Lily what was your 3rd favorite thing today?"

6:00 - "I don't remember doing anything else today."

6:01 - I realize that my dream of being a mommy and showing my children how much I love and care for them everyday would go unappreciated for the rest of my life...

Lily my genius!

2009-05-28T11:16:00.004-04:00

This is my adorable, sweet, funny, intelligent daughter Lily. We were at a wedding this weekend. Which is why she is all dressed up.

Why am I making a post about her you might ask? Well she is highly under talked about since it is *always* about the baby. Also she just earned early acceptance to Kindergarten!!!

Last week James took her to the elementary school. A Kindergarten teacher gave her the test on which she scored a 92%. Yesterday in the mail we received a letter from the Superintendent saying she was accepted! We did the overly proud dorky parents thing by putting the acceptance letter in an 8X10 frame and hung it in her room. Looks nice!

Here she comes Kindergarten class of 2009-2010!

Recent Dillion

2009-05-24T20:33:00.003-04:00

Just some recent random pictures of the Dills.
He is 5 months, 1 week in them.

This is how Daddy watches Dillion while working on his computer...

This is how Mommy does laundry with the baby...

This is Dillion in our new sling at Linsday and Derrick's wedding

Dill "plays" outside

2009-05-17T22:22:00.003-04:00

The Baby Dills today.
He and I were playing outside while James worked in the yard. I learned something about Dillion...he hates the grass. Really he doesn't like being outside at all. With the wind, sun in his eyes, bugs, lol he is just like mommy :) But he did allow me this one semi-happy picture.

http://apslings.blogspot.com

2009-05-05T22:39:00.005-04:00

Hey in case you all didn't know....Dada da da, I make ring slings!

Check out my new (under construction) site

http://apslings.blogspot.com/

2009-04-24T23:44:00.002-04:00

I was looking through old pics Wednesday night and came across these. They are Lily when she was almost 2 at the county fair. We were waiting for the baby contest to start...she won :) Just in case you didn't know.

2009-04-22T13:11:00.001-04:00

Will you help save the Earth for my cutey??

Ways we are participating in Earth Day...

- My 4y/o and I took an an old tin can, decorated and are using it to store crayons rather than buying a plastic container!

- We recycle glass, paper and aluminium

- Bring our own cloth bags for grocery shopping

- If I forget the bags, we get plastic ones and reuse them for dirty diaper disposal

- Energy effecient light bulbs

- Also we are taking 3 bags of old clothes and toys to Good Will!

What are you doing to save the Earth for your family?

2009-04-21T22:02:00.004-04:00

I am getting really bad at updating this thing! But here you go, a recent video of Dillion. He is loving his reflection in the mirror and talking up a storm. Mainly he is just cute :) Bare with me, the video was taken with my phone, in a mirror, in a dark room. Quality is low ppl...

2009-04-15T22:39:00.003-04:00

Dillion 2/26, 2 months 1 week.

Yea took me a while to get that one up!

2009-04-13T22:41:00.003-04:00

Just a quick story before I head off to bed. Baby D was sleeping thru the night for a while, well it stopped. So for about a month now he gets up around 1am and 5am. I have to get him from the crib, nurse him and put him back to bed (though I can usually con daddy into that part.) Anyway, I said all that to say this...I am tired! I forget things, nothing important, but little things. Sometimes I feel a little "left of center."

Most recently that has started coming out in weird dreams. For instance last night I was at a convention for the BBC mommies and Dillion was playing with Baby Grayson and I was talking to his lovely mother Brandy. We had a great time. It was like we were best friends. In all actuality I have never met this lady, but it was all so real. Yea I am going to bed now! I will try to do an Easter post tomorrow with pics :)

2009-04-09T14:07:00.002-04:00

Think you know who your friends are? You might be surprised! It recently occurred to me to google some ppl from my past. "Friends" or acquaintances that have come and gone from my life. WOW was I surprised at the outcome. I put in the email address of a past acquaintance and found out what a lying piece of crap this person was/is.

Hmm then I went to this site http://mycase.in.gov/default.aspx You can look up the criminal record of ppl in my county. Holy geez! Had I only known my life would be very different.

Let me tell you, from now on when I meet someone new I will be going home and googling them asap! Paranoid? Possibly. But we aren't in Mayberry anymore people.

2009-04-08T19:53:00.001-04:00

Hehe, just had to share. Look how big that breastfed baby is getting!

2009-04-06T22:16:00.006-04:00

I had a plaque just like this hanging in my nursery. So my mother bought it for my babies! It's currently displayed in the newly remodeled (yippie) downstairs 1/2 bath. When the kids start sharing a room (which would require Dillion to sleep through the night on a regular basis, HA) then I will move it.

I love "spoiling" this new baby!

2009-04-01T08:23:00.001-04:00

April 1st...one year ago today I had the biggest fight with my husband in the history of our relationship. It was so memorable that I know the exact date! I'm amazed at what a year can do to a family. We are now closer than ever and happy as can be. Not to mention we added the little guy, what a change!

Just wanted to share this song. I am sure a lot of people have heard it, but it's new to me. Since I have the new baby and the 4 year old it really hits home, and makes me cry :)

2009-03-27T10:27:00.002-04:00

Quick update! Everything is great here. We decided not to go on vacation right now. However, sometime this summer we are going to take the kids to Chicago and do fun Chicago things... James' Dr's appt went VERY well! It was not cancerous, just a nodular fasciitis. Nothing to worry about, and his Indy Dr's called and his last ct-scan looks great. I just can't believe this is really happening. Honestly I have always had it in the back of my mind that someday I would loose James to cancer. Now to think that he could live a long healthy life and see the kids grow up with me...just amazing!

Also, I have another new child at my daycare :) So that makes 2 before and after kids and one all day baby. Things are REALLY working out right now!

Well I have to go, babies will be waking up soon. Also I have to make 2 more slings this weekend! They are selling like hotcakes! Let me know if you are interested!!

2009-03-23T08:41:00.003-04:00

Wow, I have pretty much been gone from Internet life for the last week! Spring Break was busy...as for my List 'O Things to do, it actually went pretty well! I did go fabric shopping and got 1 sling completed. I was able to visit with Pamala and her kids, we just added an extra :) Amber's son Christian came to play with us on Tuesday. That brought the grand total up to 2 boy babies, 2 4y/o girls and 1 5 y/o boy. Good times!

James had his surgery and everything went pretty well. He had an orbital mass removed. The Dr's were hoping it was a cyst, it was not. So they sent it off to pathology and we go tomorrow to have his stitches removed and get the results. He is 4 years out from his last bone marrow transplant, so if this is benign and his next ct-scan look good he will be declared in remission. This is the hope.

As for what this week will bring, hmmm. Today I am just trying to get back into the routine! Get some laundry done between diaper changes, hehe. Exciting!

Oh yea we might be going on vacation this weekend. My family is taking a trip to Gatlinburg TN for their spring break. We agreed to let them take Lily. So I think we might join them. Drive down on Friday after we get Dillions next round of shots, then stay two nights and come home Sunday. Still haven't decided for sure, but you only get one life to live. The only part that concerns me (other than the money, lol) is that we will have to stop every 2 hours down there and back to feed Dillion. Nursing in the car is very uncomfortable, but if it the difference in going on vacation and not...I think I can take a boppy and just get over it :)

Aww, a pic of Christian and Lily!

2009-03-15T20:38:00.002-04:00

Spring Break! I just fully realized that I have all week off :) No waking up at 6am, no getting out of my jamies if I don't want to, slightly easier child load and I can travel!! Our garage door has been broken for a while with my car inside, grrr. But it is finally out and I am going to be visiting some friends and family next week. Plans...

Monday - Laundry... Go to Joanne's to buy fabric for a friend's sling, PINK. I am so excited to make it!

Tuesday - Visit Pamala and the kids? If not then we'll go walk around the mall. Drop Lily off at my parents...

Wednesday - James' surgery in the morning. Pick up Lily?

Thursday - Visit Grandma's house in Bloomfield.

Friday - Chill out, play lots of Candyland and finish the sling if its not done by then.

I'm so excited, we will see if I get all of that accomplished!

2009-03-14T21:44:00.002-04:00

What's today? Saturday!? Wow this week just flew by!

Some highlights...Shopping tonight with the family. We printed some pics to hang up. IMO Sam's Club prints better pictures than CVS. Even though it's less convienient and about 20 minutes farther away I am going to start going there from now on.

My new daycare kids two week trial period was up yesterday and his mom said see me after spring break so it looks like he is official!! I am so excited, he's just the sweetest little guy :)

A big "Thank You" to Amber for the photos you have been seeing of me and the kids. You can check out more of her stuff here http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=229218816 Amber Lynn Photography...

2009-03-12T23:17:00.004-04:00

We took a lot of pictures today! Video courtesy of Daddy and pics from Amber Lynn Photography.

2009-03-10T12:28:00.005-04:00

One year ago today I received a call from my dad saying that my grandparents and aunt had been in a horrible accident. Grandma and Grandpa were headed to a doctors appt; my aunt was coming home from working an overnight, she fell asleep at the wheel and hit my grandparents (her mother/father in-law) head on. Grandma had to be rushed to a hospital in Indy and Grandpa didn't make it.

Rest in Peace Grandpa Morris.
We all miss you.

(Grandpa and my sister)

2009-03-09T21:54:00.005-04:00

Yea, I forgot to blog all weekend. I was busy :) Quick run down! Friday we all went over to B & L's (friends house) to play Call of Duty 4? I went into town for some Pizza Express, yum! Then ran home to hang out with Miss Amber for a while. Always fun to see good friends. Hopefully Thursday I will have great pics to post. She is a photographer and is suppose to come and do shots of the baby with me :)

Hmm Saturday...cookout with the family. Hamburgers, sweet potato, and a vegi/parmesan packet. Again Yum! Unfortunately that will be the last of the cookouts for a while. Part of a tree fell down in the backyard and took out our grill, some bushes and a nice patio chair! Who wants a set of 5 patio chairs?? Grr.

I asked my friend to arrange a meeting between some of the "girls" from high school. So Sunday the family and I spent the day at one of their houses with 3 grown women, a very nice husband, and 2 adorable children. I can't believe how they are just like they were in high school, only so much more mature. Oh and the kids! Very few of my RL friends have children, so it is so nice to spend some time around ppl who understand :)

I have no idea what order these pics will come up in (darn blogspot uploading thing), but there is one of my daughter and Ashley's son. He is the cutie with hands over his eyes...one with me holding Dillion in a sling (that I made!) Hmm another one with Lily in front of the group of us. Finally Hilary reading a book to the big kids. I would put up the Quelf pics, but I don't want to embarrass anyone to bad!

3 Things That Made Me happy today

2009-03-06T22:23:00.002-05:00

Here is what you do: Grab the Happy Friday button above, and write a post on your blog about 3+ things that made you happy!

Here is my list!

1. Spending time with old friends tonight. Killing Zombies at Brian's house with some Call of Duty, then having girl time with Amber!

2. My kids! Lily says the sweetest things :) And Dillion really giggled at me today when I tickled him, not just a high pitched squel, but a real laugh! Best part was that Daddy got to hear it too :) :) :)

3. My new little daycare guy. He is so easy going, cute, sweet...he just fits in perfectly and will hopefully be a great kid for Dillion to grow up with!

Good Day!

2009-03-05T16:09:00.002-05:00

Lies I told today...

Snakes do not bite people

People don't really eat fish

No Sesame Street, I can't find the remote control

Mommy has to close her eyes for a minute or my brain will stop working

I can't fix it, because only Daddy knows how to use a screwdriver

2009-03-04T21:42:00.002-05:00

Sooo busy today. I had three kids all day, played a few rounds'o Candyland, went shopping at Khols and the mall, then home to get everything/one unloaded. I am beat! However I did get a new pair of pants and a shirt at Khols :) James got a bunch of clothes, and socks. OMG he goes through a million pairs of socks, throws them in the trash and is always complaining that he doesn't have any clean! So I, Queen of the Laundry, am very glad he bought socks! Lily purchased a few summer shirts at Old Navy. Oh and darling Dillion got an exersaucer. He still needs to wait about a month till he is ready for it, but my new daycare child could use it now :) Tax deductible!

So anyway, here's a random hat picture of Dillion...

2009-03-03T22:26:00.001-05:00

Today I became a group owner on the December '08 Baby Board. LoL It is the little things in life! :)

2009-03-02T22:49:00.002-05:00

Today was great! My new little daycare guy came and was so perfect, I had some fun with the camera, and we ate a really yummy dinner, yippie! The first picture is a fly...I documented the last moments of this poor flies life. We found him just a little while later dead on the floor. James said I used the flash on him one to many times. LoL

Then I was trying to get some pictures of James' saltwater aquarium to no avail. However, I noticed my reflection, so I played with that for a while.

Yum dinner! On the left is a packet consisting of sliced potatoes, carrots and celery. Sprinkled with parmasan cheese and baked in the oven. Next to that is Alton Brown's Mac and Cheese. Recipe can be found here... http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/baked-macaroni-and-cheese-recipe/index.html It is so good, we make our own bread crumbs and it is just that much more delicious!

2009-03-01T19:41:00.002-05:00

It was a pretty decent weekend. Friday I got a call from a lady wanting to come see my daycare. Well let me tell you by the end of the week my playroom is trashed! Not to mention I don't work on Friday's right now, so I looked like crap, and my sister was staying the night, so it was just not going to work. However we settled on Saturday. Hehe, you can imagine what Saturday consisted of then, lots of cleaning! But I actually got a lot done. My sister took off that day to play with Lily, so she was gone. And James had to put in some overtime at work both Saturday and Sunday. Lovely just me and Baby D. He went in the sling and I went about cleaning like crazy!

Finally I got done, James came home, Dillion went down for a nap and the ppl came to see the daycare. Everything went well. They have a wonderful, sweet 6 month old and he starts tomorrow!! I am so excited. A little friend for the baby :)

Today since Lily was still gone from staying all night with my sister/parents and James was handing out computer to children who needed them at the elementary schools, it was again just me and the baby. I watched ER and CSI that had recorded on Thursday. Both good. Oh and I ate yummy popcorn that I pop on the stove and then sprinkle with a bit of sugar, spray butter, salt, and nutritional yeast flakes. Yum! That pretty much sums up my weekend...

Update on Dillion - He is babbling all the time now! Goo, Oh, Ah, Hi and a high pitched squeal make up his current sound range. So cute. I keep trying to get a video but he is mesmerized by my shiny phone, so he just gets a blank look on his face and stares. LoL, I will put one up as soon as he cooperates :)

Mommy's Photo Shoot

2009-02-28T17:13:00.008-05:00

Finally some pics of me and Dillion. Miss Lily is gone to my parents for the night, so daddy had some time to take some great ones of us.

Of course I can't forget dinner of the night! Whole wheat pasta with a white/cheese sauce, and sauteed mushrooms and onions on top. This is by far my favorite meal yet...and probably the most fattening...Oh well it was really yummy :) Thank you James for pics and dinner!

2009-02-27T23:20:00.003-05:00

This was my day. I had way to many kids to blog!! (My two are on the left.)

2009-02-26T11:37:00.003-05:00

Look at this Baby! I just can't stop taking pictures of him...partly because of the new camera. But mainly he is just cute :) The hands this time are his and Lily's. Oh, precious.

Anyway, not much to report today. Since Dillion was sick yesterday we just took it easy. However, today is going to be full. We are heading into town this afternoon for my blood check, then to the grocery store! Yippie I just love buying groceries...ok well he has awoken and needs immediate help or the world is going to end! Hope everyone has a great Thursday (my Friday!)

2009-02-25T14:12:00.003-05:00

James and I have been cooking a lot more lately. Partly to save money, but more to be healthier. Plus now that we are a family of 4 we need to start acting like it!

Here are a couple things we made this week. Last night James made baked breaded chicken with spaghetti, red sauce and shredded smoked gouda cheese. Yum! It may not look to appetizing here (I will admit to taking a couple bites before the pic was taken.) But it was sooo good!

Then there is a ghetto banana pie. We decided really late Monday night that we were hungry...well what do we have? Banana's...a gross of animal crackers from Sam's Club,...oh and I think an old package of sugar free vanilla pudding. Voila! We threw the animal crackers in the food processor, then added a little butter to make it stick together. Mixed the pudding, and cut up a banana. It was delicious!

Well that is all for today. I have a sweet little man with a cold who needs my undivided attention all day...I am happy to oblige!

2009-02-24T20:44:00.002-05:00

Hmmm...Today I was catching up on some tv while doing the laundry (fun fun!?) Anyway, Super Nanny was on and she was helping out a family where the dad was abusive. I mean seriously out of line! He would slap his little 2-4 year old daughters in the face. One time he hit her so hard that she fell to the floor.

First off I blame the mom in the situation. Because I feel as a mom that I am my kids first line of defense. No one is going to hit them, not even their father. If he ever did I would be out the door with the kids faster than he could apologize. But then I have to wonder if someone on the Super Nanny staff goes back and checks on this family to make sure the problem was resolved. Can you call the child protective agency on something you see on TV? Surely it is illegal, right? I don't know, I just can't imagine seeing something like that in person and not having the guy hauled off to jail. But maybe that is just me...

Daddy's finger and baby hand

2009-02-23T09:31:00.003-05:00

The top one is Lily (hence the pink clothes!) It was actually hung up at the CVS in Ellettsville over 4 years ago. James went in to print a copy and the photo developer guy asked if he could hang a copy. Yep our claim to fame :)

Oh and the bottom was taken yesterday (WITH MY NEW CAMERA!) BTW Dillion does have all 10 fingers, one is just hidden in the pic. His hands are just so tiny. Aw babies...I want more!

*Edit* Sorry to anyone that got to my blog today before this edit. Just having a little 1/4 life crisis. But that is not what I want this blog to be about. It is about my kids, and how much I love my life! So...yippie baby hands :)

Losing My Religion

2009-02-22T19:39:00.003-05:00

Sorry no upbeat blog today, I am upset.

Background - I was raised in a Christian church. All my life I have believed in God so I wouldn't go to hell. Other relivant background is that my mom has been in a wheelchair since I graduated high school. I don't want to go into details on either point, but you need to know these things for the rest of the story to make sense.

As for the last 6 years I have been to church about 5 times. I still believe in "God" but don't feel it is necessary to go to a building and proof this. Anyway, my parents have been asking me to come and bring the kids so I decide today is the day. Well we get to the church and a few minutes later my parents arrive. As they are getting my mom out of the van her wheelchair goes off the lift (from about 2 feet off the ground) and she goes over the edge with it. So this is when I start to question...was God to busy to keep her from falling? Does he just not care that one of his loyal followers is in pain in the church parking lot!? WTH? Where is God when we need him? Due to the incident my mom had to go to the emergency room and we weren't even able to attend church. Was there a bigger plan of which I am not aware? I am really struggling with that right now. I know this is just one small incident and I shouldn't loose faith from this alone but...Where has he been for the last 6 years while she has suffered through surgery after surgery trying to fix her. Where are these miracles that preachers like to boast about? I'm just wondering...

2009-02-21T17:21:00.005-05:00

Right now James is in the middle of remodeling our downstairs bathroom! (I know it is always something!) He knocked out an unusable closet and made it half the size so he could put in the toilet. Then took out the unused shower and to the left is the vanity with a new sink and faucet that we will be using.

The pic of course is courtesy of my new camera. I love it! There is only one problem...I have to sort through so many good pics and just post a few, ugh. :)

2009-02-20T20:25:00.007-05:00

Dillinger James

Birth
8lbs 1oz
19 inches

2 Months
12lbs 6oz
23.5 inches

Baby Dillion had his 2 month well baby visit today. That is what he looked like when I told him he had to have a shot. Poor baby. But luckily only 1 shot and 1 oral vaccine. We are following Dr. Bob Sears vaccination schedule instead of the regular one. There is a greater chance of allergies later in life if the baby receives certain vaccines to early. Since he won't be in daycare and is breastfed I am not overly worried about him catching something. Anyway, things went great. He is in the 50-75 percentile on height, weight, and head circumference. Growing like a weed and super strong. He rolled over from his belly to back for the second time today at the Dr's office! I can't believe how quickly time is going by. Better keep a good blog of it all :)

Also today my best friend the UPS man brought our faucet for the bathroom sink and new camera! So happy!! I will post pics of the faucet tomorrow it is pretty cool. Kinda of like an old school pour spout...oh you will just have to see it to understand. Oh and the camera is a Canon Rebel XSi 12.4mg pixel with 3 extra lens. One of those is a portrait lens, so expect lots new pics of my kids on myspace and facebook!

Might start taking them now. Both of the kids are down for the night after a big day of going to work with daddy, Dillion's Dr's Appt., and an impromptu adventure to Bloomingfoods. A friend that I haven't seen for a while is suppose to stop by later tonight. But as for right now I am off to take pics of sleeping babies....

2009-02-19T07:29:00.004-05:00

James and Melissa

Let's face it, their can be no babies or blog about them without first having a mommy and daddy. So here is our story...we met via the Internet when I was still a Junior in high school (17). He was the ripe old age of 19 and working for a local school corporation as a computer tech. We had our first "date" when we went to see How the Grinch Stole Christmas in December of 2000. Sooo long ago, but I still think about that first kiss every time I go past the theatre. I can't believe I almost didn't go in...talk about making the right decision!

In the years to follow we were together off an on. He took to a trip to Thailand, we both dated other ppl for short periods of time. In 2002 after I graduated from high school I moved to Bloomington and their has been no seperating us!

The fall of 2003 brought a new location to the road map of our lives...we bought our first home! It was built in 1856, starting out with just two rooms. After many renovations it was now big enough for a whole family. Which was great because just a few months after moving in we were blessed with the news of our first pregnancy!

We did not think we would be able to have children due to health problems on both our parts, but we were both as happy as to young people in love could be. Unfortunately, the health problems didn't stop and when I was 8 months pregnant the doctors informed us that James had cancer for the third time. This was of course devastating. We had to took our 3 month old baby to daddy's chemo treatments. Then in March 2005 he received his second bone marrow transplant which meant months in the hospital and lots of time to recover. We had to put off wedding plans until he was well enough. Lucky for us shortly after our daughters first birthday, on September 17th 2005 James was feeling better and he made me his wife!

Life was good, we had a wonderful, healthy daughter, nice home, good jobs and more love than we could contain. Once James was back to work full time an opportunity arose for me to be a stay at home mom with a small in home daycare. I have been home for almost 3 years now and couldn't be happier. This is where I want and need to be.

I guess their isn't much more to tell about me and James. We are a pretty normal married couple. He still works at the schools. Which is great because we are on the same schedule. We recently made an addition to our family with a second child who is just as amazing as the first. Right now everyone is happy, healthy, and life is very pleasant!